Challenge Your Beliefs Like a Therapist --- Your brain operates on rules, and some of them are excellent. Fire is hot. Gravity remains undefeated. Do not respond to the email promising fourteen million dollars from a prince you have never met. Others are considerably less reliable. If someone is disappointed in me, I did something wrong. If I fail, I am a failure. If a person leaves, it proves I am unlovable. If I need help, I am weak. These beliefs rarely announce themselves

We do not only grieve people. We grieve futures, identities, abilities, relationships, possibilities and versions of ourselves.

Practice Self-Compassion Like a Therapist Learn therapeutic questions that replace shame and self-attack with accountability, context and self-compassion. Imagine speaking to someone you love the way you sometimes speak to yourself. “I can’t believe you screwed that up.” “You should have known.” “Everyone else handles life better.” “What is wrong with you?” Charming. Right?! Self-compassion does not mean declaring every decision brilliant. It means holding yourself accountabl

Separate Who You Are From What You Did Like a Therapist Seperate the behavior and identity like a therapist. Human beings love turning verbs into identities. I failed. Therefore: I am a failure. I acted selfishly. Therefore: I am selfish. I am struggling. Therefore: I am broken. But behavior and identity are not the same thing. Ask: Did I do something I regret—or does this define me? Is this who I am or something I learned to do? Who am I when the problem isn’t dominating me?

Find the Real Problem Like a Therapist You are upset because your partner didn't text back. Except maybe you aren't. Maybe the text activated: I'm not important. You're furious because your boss criticized your work. Except perhaps the deeper wound is: No matter what I accomplish, eventually someone will discover I'm not good enough. Human beings are very good at reporting events. Therapy gets interested in meaning. Two people can experience the same event and have completely

What is a bond and how does it impact you?