Understand Your Behavior Like a Therapist --- Most behavior makes sense in context. Yes — even the behaviors you sincerely wish would pack their bags and leave. Avoidance. Overworking. People-pleasing. Procrastination. Shutting down. Exploding. Controlling. Seeking reassurance at two in the morning from someone who has already reassured you twice. Before you ask how to stop doing any of it, try a different question: what does this do for me? That is not an endorsement. Behavi

Spot Your Patterns Like a Therapist --- Have you ever changed all of the characters and somehow kept the entire plot? New relationship, new job, new city, new promise to yourself that this time will be genuinely different — and then six months later your nervous system leans over and whispers, haven't we seen this episode before? Patterns matter because human beings gravitate toward what is familiar, and familiar and healthy are not synonyms. Sometimes familiar means I know h

We do not only grieve people. We grieve futures, identities, abilities, relationships, possibilities and versions of ourselves.

Separate Who You Are From What You Did Like a Therapist Seperate the behavior and identity like a therapist. Human beings love turning verbs into identities. I failed. Therefore: I am a failure. I acted selfishly. Therefore: I am selfish. I am struggling. Therefore: I am broken. But behavior and identity are not the same thing. Ask: Did I do something I regret—or does this define me? Is this who I am or something I learned to do? Who am I when the problem isn’t dominating me?

Understand Your Behavior Like a Therapist --- Most behavior makes sense in context. Yes — even the behaviors you sincerely wish would pack their bags and leave. Avoidance. Overworking. People-pleasing. Procrastination. Shutting down. Exploding. Controlling. Seeking reassurance at two in the morning from someone who has already reassured you twice. Before you ask how to stop doing any of it, try a different question: what does this do for me? That is not an endorsement. Behavi

Find the Real Problem Like a Therapist You are upset because your partner didn't text back. Except maybe you aren't. Maybe the text activated: I'm not important. You're furious because your boss criticized your work. Except perhaps the deeper wound is: No matter what I accomplish, eventually someone will discover I'm not good enough. Human beings are very good at reporting events. Therapy gets interested in meaning. Two people can experience the same event and have completely

Learn therapeutic questions for understanding anger, violated boundaries, hurt, fear and powerlessness.

Identify What You Need Like a Therapist Human beings are spectacularly bad at asking directly for what they need. Instead, we hint. Withdraw. Become resentful. Overfunction. Get angry. Say, “I’m fine.” We are very frequently not fine. Try asking: What did I need in that moment? What did I hope they would notice? What did I want them to say? What feels dangerous about asking directly? What do I want but believe I’m not allowed to need? What am I requesting

Top 12 Myths About Trauma: How Trauma Is Often Misunderstood by Survivors and Their Loved Ones