Separate Who You Are From What You Did Like a Therapist Seperate the behavior and identity like a therapist. Human beings love turning verbs into identities. I failed. Therefore: I am a failure. I acted selfishly. Therefore: I am selfish. I am struggling. Therefore: I am broken. But behavior and identity are not the same thing. Ask: Did I do something I regret—or does this define me? Is this who I am or something I learned to do? Who am I when the problem isn’t dominating me?

Understand Your Behavior Like a Therapist --- Most behavior makes sense in context. Yes — even the behaviors you sincerely wish would pack their bags and leave. Avoidance. Overworking. People-pleasing. Procrastination. Shutting down. Exploding. Controlling. Seeking reassurance at two in the morning from someone who has already reassured you twice. Before you ask how to stop doing any of it, try a different question: what does this do for me? That is not an endorsement. Behavi

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